


but you never come through

by mrsonmyr



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Ficlet, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor CDTH spoilers, POV Second Person, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, reading richard siken does that, sad boys, was feeling emo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 15:36:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21038579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsonmyr/pseuds/mrsonmyr
Summary: Ronan Lynch’s phone is causing him problems.





	but you never come through

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t really know how to tag this but minor cdth spoilers for characters not really plot.

The problem with having a cellphone is that there’s always someone trying to get in touch with you. You can turn it off, let it die, but it’s still there. This physical reminder in your pocket — buzzing away with concerns from Declan and Gansey, Blue telling you that you’re an idiot and they miss you, even meme’s from Matthew couldn’t make you feel better. There’s always a way to contact him and throwing your phone dramatically into the Potomac River only leaves you alone with your thoughts and your hands. The problem with having a cellphone is every time it vibrates in your pocket you know it won’t be from him but you put down everything that you’re doing to fish it out and feel the wave of disappointment. That _ Christopher is 2 miles away and wants to meet up. _It doesn’t feel better, the beer is good but the company is cheap. Having hot breath on your neck, a stranger's hand running up your back, unaware of the permanent markings, the ache that you thought was pleasure but is only pain you experience after when he calls you a ride. 

The problem with having a cellphone is being able to do anything at any time. Your Uber won’t drive you to Cambridge but it will remind you of being face down in the backseat of a Honda Civic when Jared pulls up with his steel grey 2015 Civic with the plate number YBT - 2463 and all you can think about is being held down and asking for it. The problem with having a cellphone with a _ good _ camera is being able to see what it looks like getting fucked by him, seeing how you look being face down in the back seat and getting slammed, the problem with watching it over and over again is knowing exactly what you sound like. The problem with trying to numb the pain by watching it is opening the wound when you get a notification — _ Adam updated his profile. _

The problem with having a cellphone is being able to see it right away, him in his Harvard sweater, arm around someone he’s heard about through Gansey, head resting against his broad chest. _ Fall walks with you <3 _

The problem with having a cellphone is being able to click on the tagged person and seeing that Fletcher has a new profile too, his lips on Adam’s, Adam's hands clasping his face. The problem with having a cellphone is being able to screenshot it, look at it whenever you need, picturing your chiselled cheeks under Adam’s hand, your lips pressed to his. 

The problem with having a cellphone is having his number but never being able to call it. 


End file.
